All In - No Exception!

All In - No Exception! Do it or don't do it but if you are going to do it - go all in.

There is a program called Whole 30 - a 30 day program in which you eliminate a number of foods from your diet including sugar, dairy, processed food and alcohol to reset your body. The point is to see how different you feel without those foods in you. Most people lose some weight, feel 100x better and even recover from some medical conditions including skin issues. You basically eat vegetables, protein (meat, fish, eggs), and some fruit. Everything is clean and as close to the source as possible. I eat that way most of the time but do enjoy an occasional Diet Coke (love those bubbles), chocolate every day and I sure can't turn down great bread at a restaurant. 

I first went on the program last summer right before Hurricane Harvey hit. I decided I was all in and followed the program 100% to the tee. To me it was easier than cutting back on M&M's or limiting bread to one serving a day. Most people think it would be so hard but to me - going in 100% left out the decisions and the hemming and hawing that waste time and energy. There were no decisions to make - it wasn't allowed and I wasn't going to eat it. And I was very successful. Within two weeks I noticed significant changes in how I felt - no aches and pain, I was stronger and less tired. It was amazing. I gradually added a few things back but to this day have not had an M&M. I did try a Diet Coke one day when there wasn't anything else to drink - and it tasted like chemicals to me - so that was the end of that! 

Jack Canfield, author of the book series, "Chicken Soup for the Soul" shared many of the struggles in his life including how he got rejected by over 140 publishers. In a video of his I recently viewed, he shares the story of how much easier it is to go all in at 100% versus 99% and says that 99% is a bitch and 100% is a breeze. 

Are you ready to go all in? Take a chance! Take that step! Take that risk!

The steps for taking a risk are - 

·                select your smart/heart goal (S - specific, M - measurable, A - actionable, R - realistic, T - time-framed - Heart - means something to you - ask yourself why you want to do it and you will have the Heart part)

·                get creative about ways to accomplish the goal

·                select a path considering your personal risk-taking style

·                increase your chances of success - with research, taking more time to plan, share risk with others, try a prototype

·                go all in 100% take action!

What do you think? Is it a bitch or a breeze? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. 


What Would Happen to You If You Tried to Follow Every Piece of Advice Ever Given to You?

I was attending a day long women's leadership conference at a local university. It was an annual conference with a few hundred attendees. I remember attending the previous year and wished that instead of all panel discussions on a specific topic, that they would sprinkle a few workshops or presentations by an individual speaker on popular leadership issues. The conference did have a keynote speaker at lunch, which was delightful.

I was sitting in on one panel and one question posed to the panelists really intrigued me. It was about stolen ideas at work and how to respond. Everyone had a different opinion. One person said to pick your battles and sometimes when another claims your idea for their own it isn't worth it to correct them. Another person said to state that you liked how they picked up on your original idea and added their own twist to it and go on to clarify your idea and thoughts on implementation. Others said to address it in private. Each panelist had a different opinion based on their style and personality. It was important for the listeners to realize they needed to take the advice under consideration, assess their situations and determine their own best path. They also needed to reflect on ways they could prevent their ideas from being stolen in the first place. Paying attention to our inner guidance is key.

I also participated on an SPE (Society of Petroleum Engineers) MIT (Members In Transition) panel around the same time. We were providing advice and tips on finding a job, including interviewing and resumes. One person asked how long a resume should be. One fellow said don't worry about that - just get in front of people. A second person said no more than two pages. Another person in the recruiting industry said four or more pages were ok. I said it depends on your experience and what the interviewing company is looking for - that two pages were a typical recommended length but if your career has spanned decades and the job requirements are expansive, you may want to include more. So everyone had a different opinion. It would drive the listeners crazy to try to please all of us or adhere to all of the recommendations.

Following everyone's advice will have you running around like a squirrel, darting from one idea, plan or project to another and you will end up exhausted.

It is ok to ask for and listen to advice. But don't act on it without thinking it through. Pay attention to what parts of it resonate with you and what parts don't feel right. Formulate your own plan forward based on what you perceive to be the best route for you. Copying other people's ways of doing things will not necessarily get you the same results they experienced.

When have you asked several people for advice on the same issue - what kind of responses did you get? How did you decide what to do?

Need a sounding board? Contact me at


There's Risk In Fixation

I've always wanted to own a beach house. Over the years I've rented quite a few in various parts of the country - from the shores of Lake Michigan to Folly beach in Charleston, South Carolina. A few years ago I checked out some houses in Galveston to rent for a weekend yoga beach retreat I was planning. I found one in the second row from the beach that was offset so it really had a front row view. It was perfect and I put my deposit down. It has been on my list as the dream beach house to buy ever since. 

It wasn't until recently that I seriously started to look at beach houses in Galveston to buy one. I searched on-line first and found quite a few I loved. When I was looking at one of my favorites with a roof top balcony and hot tub, a message popped up to "contact realtor" and I spontaneously checked yes. Within a minute I received a call.  I set up a date to meet with her to see the houses on my list. The rooftop balcony one quickly became number one. I decided to rent it out to really check out its condition, inspired by a call from some Michigan girlfriends that wanted to escape the cold. And soon we were sitting on the living room porch looking out at the water. The house across the street caught my attention. Sure enough - it was the house I rented for a yoga weekend retreat a few years ago. No wonder this area and the street seemed eerily familiar every time I drove down it. The beach house I had been waiting for was right there in front of me. I totally missed it with all the other visits to that area. The fixation on the rooftop balcony caused me to totally miss the house that was right across the street.  Unfortunately it's still not for sale - but something tells me it won't be long since I keep coming back to it. 

A few years back I was coaching two executives who wanted to grow their well-established corporate consulting business. One shared his dissatisfaction with a recent airline experience and even detailed the angry letters he had written to the company. I asked if he had considered offering his company’s services to the airline instead of just expressing his customer dissatisfaction. He hadn’t, but in hindsight, thought that would be a great idea. His focus on being frustrated with the airline caused him to miss seeing the situation as a potential opportunity for his business. 

Sometimes it’s hard to remember to look at the big picture. Are you so focused on your current ways of doing or being that you are missing opportunities placed in your lap? Consider intermittent checks from a trusted advisor or coach to help keep you focused yet open to possibilities. Focus on the tasks at hand, but remain open to other ways of accomplishing the tasks or other beach houses to buy! There's a risk in being fixated!

Florida beach house.jpg

Parties Get Your Butt In Gear

Our niece coaches a women's hockey team at Stevenson University in Maryland. Students from the hockey team, golf and basketball teams and a few non athletes from the school volunteered to come to Houston to work with Habitat for Humanity. They spent the last week up early every morning working til dinner time rebuilding homes devastated by Hurricane Harvey. They did their own fundraising to make enough money to make the trip - 28 of them in all. My niece asked my husband if he would cook for them on their last night and of course he said yes. He spent two days cooking brisket, chicken, pulled pork and stuffed jalapenos along with his famous macaroni and cheese. I contributed chocolate chip cookies and brownies. But I also did a few major things to the house that I had been procrastinating on. 

Our back yard has been in need of a landscaping makeover. I called our friend/landscaper and asked for a yard update. I was delighted he was able to spruce up the place in time for our party. I also got into some boxes in the garage that had been sitting there for quite some time. Some boxes contained CD's from years of teaching fitness classes, others had old workbooks from business classes, and a few were full of pictures from the beginning of time - our time at least. I was amazed how many I was able to get through - with all of the "stuff" ending up in a save, dump or donate pile. Uplifting! The third area I was able to take action on was the old patio table and chairs. The chairs were starting to rust a little as well as the table though they were still functional and looked fine to the casual observer. When I looked up patio tables to find a new one, conversational patio sets also came up. I already had a few wicker chairs with cushions and decided to add two more with a love seat and ottomans. There was also a table that went nicely with the set. And there you have it - a "new" backyard ready for summer parties.

What I love about having parties at the house is that it almost forces you into doing things you know that you want to do or need to do but just haven't found the impetus to get them done. They become a driving force - a strong motivator to get things done. You find more energy than you ever had to make it to the party deadline.

There are so many things we are procrastinating on for different reasons. There is risk in not getting things done. Maybe that potential loss is enough to get you moving. If not, how could you apply the party lessons to your story? There are a lot of why's and what's behind it. Part of it is the deadline staring you in the face. Part of it is the way you want things to be when you are done making your adjustments. What will motivate you to stop procrastinating and finally get those things done at home or work?

For a complimentary strategy session to assist you in making the move to action - sign up here

party - pineapple - hats.jpg

Do You Want A Cold Towel Now Or Can You Wait Until Later?

A few years ago my girlfriends and I went to the San Luis Hotel in Galveston to celebrate one of our birthdays. While we were sitting out at the pool on a delightfully hot July afternoon, the waiters walked around passing out super cold, wet and wonderfully scented towels to refresh ourselves with. What a grand idea! It sparked an idea for my indoor cycle class. I ordered a bunch of washcloth size towels from Amazon, rolled them up and soaked them in eucalyptus scented water and put them in the refrigerator to cool. The next time I taught class I brought them out midway through class. What a hit they were - especially for those that just get red and overheated and don't sweat much. The reaction was so positive, I continue to bring them every Sunday for my spoiled indoor cyclists. 

I have a few members that really need the towels to cool down in the middle of class. The rest of them are fine waiting until the end. While I was walking around the room at halftime with the towels asking if anyone needed one right now or did they want to wait, I was reminded of the marshmallow experiment and shared it with the class. In the Stanford marshmallow experiment they offered children a choice between a reward now, or if they waited about 15 minutes they would get two rewards. The rewards were marshmallows, cookies, or sometimes pretzels. In the follow-up studies they found that the children who were able to wait longer for the two rewards tended to have better life outcomes in reference to education, health and other measures. So I teased the class about their wanting the towels now and a few said - never mind - they could wait! 

It is an interesting experiment that can be applied to our lives in many ways. The waiting or not waiting can be a risk. Will we miss out on some important opportunity by waiting or will we miss out on personal growth by jumping in right away? Weigh the situation and decide the best move forward for you. 

If You Do It I'll Do It

I am partnering with a new group of trainers, coaches and consultants. We had our first in-person meeting the other day at an interesting restaurant venue I'd actually been to before with the kids. It's called the Conservatory. It's housed in a neat old building that has a variety of fast food options from Italian with pizza and meatballs to BBQ, sandwiches and soups.  Everyone in your group can get a different kind of food for lunch and grab a table in the common area to enjoy lunch together.

Since I'd been there before I knew they had beer and wine too. We were seated at the table sharing and enjoying our different selections when I decided a glass of wine would be perfect with my Italian meatballs, so I got up to find the wine. When I returned to the table with my glass, several others at the table commented on what a great idea that was and some ended up getting wine too. It was like I broke the ice or the boundary and it made it ok for everyone else now.

It's actually very common for people to be thinking about doing the same thing - but not stepping out there or taking a chance until someone else does it. Check out this story regarding a paper airplane game. 

One of the most results-producing and fun exercises I’ve made a part of my presentation games is the paper airplane game. The point is to get participants to think outside of the box, and open up their creative thinking while enjoying a fun game with a little competitive spirit mixed in.

Groups are divided into teams of four or five players with each team given a stack of different colored paper. A starting line and a landing zone are marked on the floor with masking tape. The team players are not allowed to cross over the starting line when launching their airplanes. Only planes that are completely in the landing zone count, and the goal is to be the team with the most paper airplanes in the landing zone at the end of the time. Teams are given two minutes to play the game. 

The first time I played this game, my inclination was to pick up the entire pack of paper and throw it into the landing zone. But I told myself it was the paper airplane game and we had to fold planes before throwing, so I proceeded to fold planes. Then a minute later another team picked up their entire pack of paper and threw it over the line to win. I was appalled they’d “stolen” my idea! Of course, they really hadn’t; I was just upset with myself for talking myself out a great idea. 

Until we see others do something we hold ourselves back. We watch what they are doing and model their behavior. 

So - what are you holding yourself back from doing? Are you waiting for someone else to do it first? What will it take for you to be the first one? What are you missing out on by not taking that first step?

doll- following.jpg
rolled towels.jpg

Whirly What? Whirly Ball!!!

bumper cars.jpg

After my niece's wedding in Minnesota, we were able to stay in town an extra day. Our nephews invited us to play Whirlyball, a game which we had never heard of. It is a combination of bumper cars, jailai and basketball. Two teams of five all riding in bumper cars compete to score points by shooting a plastic ball from a jailai like scoop at a basketball backboard while the other team is trying to bump them. It is a hilariously fun game.

We liked it so much we gave our son and his wife a Whirly ball party for Christmas. (The only Whirlyball facility in Texas is near their house in Dallas.) While visiting them last weekend at their home, we used the gift card to play the game with a group, including our Houston friends' adult kids. A good time was had by all. We went out for snacks and brews after at a local restaurant/bar. Our group of ten was seated at a long rectangular table. It was easy to talk to those next to you, but not very easy - if at all - to communicate with those at the opposite end of the table. My husband, our son and his wife were seated near the middle. We were talking with the young ladies that all worked together at one end of the table, and I noticed the three guys at the other end of the table who didn't know each other before that day were a bit quiet. I thought I should get up and go talk to them, but didn't at the time.

A while later I noticed my son had moved to the opposite end of the table and was engaged in a lively conversation with the guys. I didn't know if it was an intentional move or he just happened to go to the other end for some other reason - but I noted it and planned to point it out to him later.

When I did mention it to him, that I noticed his kind act, he said it was intentional. He noticed they were kind of quiet and moved to sit with them to engage and enjoy them more.

It was a beautiful example of Emotional Intelligence (EI) in action. EI - the awareness of feelings and emotions in yourself and others and taking appropriate action to manage them effectively. EI is made up of four competencies -
self awareness
self management
social awareness
social management

Tips for self awareness and management include -
observe your feelings - keep a journal
think about why you behave the way you do
spot your emotions/behaviors in tv and movie characters
breathe or count to ten before reacting or responding to an event
pay attention to and take control of your self talk
connect with an outside observer of your behaviors as a witness and sounding board

Tips for social awareness and management include -
pay attention to body language
people watch your family or co-workers and note observations
try to step into the shoes of others
be curious - test assumptions
acknowledge others' feelings
take action to build trust

Tapping into these areas of life could have the most positive impact on your effectiveness in your personal and professional life. Not doing anything is a risk I don't recommend you take.

Making the changes - a small risk with a major payback! Check your EI out - with free on-line assessments, books or partner with me to assess and work on your skills.

Dog Poop - To Pick It Up or Not


We are dog-sitting our son and his wife's two miniature dachshunds. I like to take them to the nearby park for a walk/squirrel chasing run as often as I can. It has a beautiful loop around the park as well as trails into the woods to explore. The other morning we were enjoying our walk - and the older puppy dropped a load. I always keep a pack of doggie doo-doo bags with paper towels in them for clean-up. I was leaning over to pick up the poop and heard a woman walking by with her large dog say, "you are the only one". I looked up and she went on to say I was the only one she had ever seen pick up their dog's poop. (I am sure others do - but we/she may not have passed them by at that moment when it was happening). She said she hadn't picked up her dog's poop and some guy had just reported her to the police officer that patrolled the park. She was worried she was going to get some kind of ticket and asked me about it. I told her I doubted she would get a ticket - but that it was a warning to pick up after her dog. She went on to say that there were no signs (I told her there was at least one at the start of the walking loop) and that no one else ever did it. (It doesn't matter if no one else does it - it is something YOU need to do - I thought). I told her that she needed to do it and asked if she needed some bags. She had them in the car - was the reply. Then she said the guy must have reported her because she was Asian! (Really - OMG - I've heard this same kind of logic before - blaming something on your ethnicity, political views, color, ..... instead of taking responsibility). I told her that I doubted that was the reason. That he reported her because she DIDN'T pick up her dog's poop and she needed to do that. 

There is a risk in letting things go and not saying anything. I am glad that the man reported it so that the woman was now aware of the rules. Even if it wasn't a rule -  it is just common courtesy - whether you are in your own neighborhood or out in public - to pick up after yourself and your animals. 

It's the blaming it on others instead of taking responsibility that bothers me - that is why I continue the work I do - one coaching client, one training class, one networking contact, one non-poop picker up in the park... - to create awareness and positive change. 

To Pick Up or Not Pick Up? --- Pick Up!

57% of Books Purchased Are Never Read Through to the End


Wow! I am sure that is true of me too. I own a lot of unfinished books. There are so many fascinating topics out there and I am always finding one for my work or just to read for pleasure. But halfway through I get distracted and end up on another adventure. The book gets left behind, with a marker keeping my place, until the day I rediscover the book and continue my journey of enlightenment or reading pleasure.

A girlfriend mentioned a book to me the other day and asked if I had finished it. We were given it at midnight mass on Christmas Eve at our church. I pulled it out of the double deep stack of books on the bookshelf in my office and checked it out. There it was, a third of the way through the book, one of my favorite book markers with stars on it - "Shoot for the Moon, Even If You Miss You'll Land Among the Stars." True of any risk or undertaking. I ended up spending the next few days finishing the book, thoroughly enjoying the wisdom it shared, vowing to buy several copies of it for my friends and family members.

How many times does this happen with not only books, but projects, ideas or risky adventures. We start with purpose and passion that sometimes fizzles or gets waylaid by a distraction. How can you stay connected and make it successfully through to the end? 

The key is to make a plan and focus on sticking to it. In addition, make sure you have the desire to even do it and picture yourself working through it and finishing. Imagine the emotions you will feel when you do.  Along with enjoying the emotions associated with being "there", create an environment that is conducive to staying on track by surrounding yourself with supportive people and eliminating distractions. Maybe put the book or whatever you want to focus on right where you can't ignore it. A client used to hang the dog's leash on the bed post so when she got up she would take him for a walk right away, before she had time to make excuses for them both not to exercise that day. These all help - but the key is to have a plan mapped out. A well thought out risk with a plan will ensure action and ultimately success!

As Much As You Would


When I was a little girl my mom would always make our birthday cakes with frosting from scratch. I remember attempting to make frosting one day and asked my mom how much confectioner's sugar and milk to add into the bowl. "As much as you would", she would reply. The problem is, I didn't know how much I would because I'd never done it. I hadn't developed the feel for how much I would, like my mom who had made the frosting at least 100 times - (actually so many more times if you figure nine cakes a year minimum for all of us kids and our dad's birthdays). She just knew. It seemed right. It just felt right.

And that is how I developed my favorite recipes, chocolate chip cookies especially. I just knew how much of each ingredient to add as I played with recipe perfection over the years.

Many times, when we take a risk or leap to attempt something new, it requires a bit of "as much as you would." We don't really know but we tap into our intuition and along with our knowledge and experience are able to figure out the next step forward. It may require tweaking along the way, but with experience we are well on our way to perfection.