"If you want this - you should do this". We are bombarded with books, magazines and sometimes friends and family telling us what we should do in order to achieve a certain state of being that they believe we should achieve. The problem arises when we believe them and follow their shoulds instead of listening to our hearts and our wants and desires.
An assessment that I use in my Creativity and Risk Taking coaching and training is the Creatrix. Creativity is the ability to produce new ideas and possibilities. Risk taking is driving the idea forward, even in the face of adversity. The assessment measures your creativity and risk taking orientations. We can improve our creativity and risk taking. The results of the Creatrix give you tips on how to accomplish that.
One of the drivers for creativity is inner-directedness. Inner directed people determine their own expectations and norms and march to their own drummer. They don't let others "should" on them.
So what can you do to be more inner-directed and experience less "shoulding"?
- Start asking - what would I really do in this situation?
- Pay more attention to your intuition and follow through.
- Stop changing your thoughts or behaviors when someone else makes a comment - stick with what is truly you.