A few short weeks ago we were headed to Alaska from Texas on an early evening flight. All of the window shades were down but I could tell it was still light out and knew we were flying over a magnificent part of the country. Half of the passengers were nodding off in their seats and the other half were watching the featured movie or engrossed in their own technology.
"Why wasn't anyone peeking out the window? Were we supposed to keep the shades down the whole time for the movie? What would happen if I opened my shade - would the airplane police rush to my seat?" A number of questions ran through my head as I contemplated opening the shade.
I decided if I carefully and slowly raised it just a few inches it wouldn't interfere with the movie. As I peered through the few inches of window I had uncovered I was rewarded with a breathtaking view of snow capped mountains that went on forever. I felt sorry for all of the other people on the plane that were missing this spectacular opportunity. I shared it with my husband and then reluctantly lowered the shade. Every so often I would raise the shade again and peer under the edge to enjoy the amazing view. Wow! And no airplane police ever came over to discipline me.
This afternoon I opened a fortune cookie and read my future - "the simplest answer is to act". How true that is. We hold ourselves back from taking action because of all the supposed rules or the worries we have that may never actually happen. What are you missing? What spectacular dream or vision or experience? Take a risk - act - evaluate and keep moving forward.
(Of course - some risks require more analysis and planning - check out our classes or Creatrix assessment on Creativity and Risk Taking if you want to delve deeper into the topic.)
Share the Risk
When we take a risk we don't typically think about taking someone along with us for the ride. Yet, sharing a risk is one of the best ways to improve your chances of success.
I have a friend who works shift work. When she has Sundays off we typically attend church services together. It is always a much more interesting event when we go together. One of us may hear something the other missed and share it or we just simply enjoy the event more having someone to hang with. I love to watch my favorite late night show with her also. The jokes always seem funnier when she is sitting with me watching the show.
A few years back I went skydiving with a girlfriend. She was recently divorced and wanted to experience the thrill of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. It seems like it is the thing that divorced people like to do. We jumped tandem - strapped to an instructor. It was probably the most exciting thing I've ever done. There is no denying our chances of success were much greater taking the instructor along for the ride versus jumping on our own - at least the first time!
Whether it is jumping out of an airplane or telling the boss what you really think about a project or idea, sharing the risk with another person can improve the chances of a successful outcome in so many ways.
Consider taking along a buddy the next time you venture out on a risk. It may improve your chances of success - or simply your enjoyment of the experience. Either way - it is a win.
Hazards Along our Path
I love to play golf.
The most intimidating part of the game for me is the sand. The more sand traps there are on a hole, the more I think about the sand traps. And the more I think about the sand traps, the greater the chance I will end up in one.
Then again, the most intimidating part of the game for me is the water. The more ditches and lakes and ponds full of water, the more I think about the ditches and lakes and ponds full of water. And the more I think about the ditches and lakes and ponds full of water, the greater the chance I will end up in one.
So - I focus on the green and the hole and picture my golf ball dropping into the hole. I am aware of the sand traps and water hazards but I take care to avoid them and focus on the goal of getting the ball into the hole - with the least amount of strokes. Hmm - great in theory - but in reality it does more often than not work out for me.
The same is true for any risk we undertake. There will always be hazards and obstacles along the way. As long as we are aware of them we can take the steps to avoid them or prepare for them as much as possible. Sometimes they will still catch us, ones we didn't even consider possible, but more often than not we will be successful in spite of the obstacles in front of us.
Remember though - sometimes the obstacles we imagine will pop up on our journey don't always become an issue. So don't let the fear of a slim possibility keep you from taking the first step on your risk taking journey.
I Bet You Can't Pick Just One
I am beginning to offer a "Yoga Beach Walk" event on a regular basis. During the event we will alternate between a few yoga poses and a short walk farther down the beach. At the end, we return to our starting point, relaxing on our beach lounge chairs to watch the sunset. They are donation based yoga events, meaning you pay what you can and if you can't pay at all - you are welcome too. Part of the proceeds will be given to a local charity. The problem is I haven't been able to pick a charity. There are so many worthy causes out there - for healthy hearts, for trees to save the coastline, for meals for seniors, for cancer research, for the Red Cross - the list is endless. How does one choose?
So, I finally decided to pick a new charity for each walk based on recommendations from attendees - problem solved!
A friend and I were reminiscing about college recently and our initial difficulty in picking a major with so many options available and our diverse interests to complicate the matter. When we were in school we thought that we had to pick something that we were going to do for the rest of our lives. As we examined the options nothing stood out as the one career we wanted to have forever. So, we tried a lot of majors ending up with so many extra credit hours in so many diverse areas, sometimes leaving college unable to decide. If students can remember that a degree in anything is a wonderful accomplishment and that our options are endless possibilities as we grow, it will be easier to make that first choice.
When taking risks, sometimes the hardest part is just the first step. Remember you can always modify, adjust, and change your mind and your plan. It isn't forever - don't let that first step paralyze you.
So Cut But So Unpredictable
A greeting card commercial follows the best man as he makes his way among the wedding guests. He innocently makes less than appropriate comments - calling family members' wives by the names of previous partners, commenting about women not knowing he is talking to their spouses and other assorted faux pas. When the time for him to give his speech to the bride and groom arrives, everyone around him experiences trepidation as he stands and gathers their attention with a clink of his wine glass. He very eloquently delivers a beautiful and heartfelt speech to the amazement of all of those whose feelings were trampled previously in the evening. He admits that he didn't write it, (it was delivered word for word from a Hallmark card), but that the feelings were real. Everyone is delighted and applauds the young man.
I teach a course on Risk Taking and frequently speak to groups on the subject. I sometimes begin my presentation inquiring about risks the audience has taken. They include - "Was it a risk to put your life in the hands of another person to drive you to this event today?", "How much did you really know about your spouse before you married them?" and other points to ponder.
A recent announcement among friends of a youthful couple's engagement sparked conversations of wedding highs and lows. One woman lamented that children didn't belong at weddings. As cute as they can be they are so unpredictable and can sometimes be so disruptive if they end up paralyzed with fear and refuse to proceed down the aisle as planned. Others shared stories of wedding mishaps - tripping, fainting, forgetting to memorize vows - along with stories from tv shows featuring wedding catastrophes.
We can plan and prepare with great care and detail but it seems that there is always something - not always huge but enough to knock us off our path - when we set off on a mission. It is how we react to that situation that can determine whether we end up successful or not.
When we take a risk there are no guarantees that it will work out the way we planned. But if we prepare for all that we know might happen and leave a little wiggle room for what we can't predict or possibly imagine - and handle it with grace and poise - it will all work out in the end. Those mishaps end up as lessons learned or as some very entertaining pictures, videos and stories in later years.
That's Just Not Practical!
I was working with a group on creative processes to unleash their innovative ideas. They had been doing things the same way for a number of years and were ready to take a giant leap forward with some new approaches to their company and their responsibilities. We played with a few exercises and were filling out a random word chart. A list of random words filled the first column and all of the other cells on the table were blank. I asked the participants to fill in the chart by looking at the first word in each row and to write anything that came to mind in the boxes as they went across the page. Smirks, sighs, a few laughs but mostly focused writing took place in the room. After a few minutes I invited them to put down their pens and listen to a story.
I told the tale of a group of people that were brought together to solve a problem up north of ice on power lines that was causing the lines to break. The invitees were asked to walk about the hotel grounds of their meeting site and bring back a half dozen items that they came across. One fellow picked up some honey in the gift shop and brought that back to the meeting along with, like his coworkers, several other random objects. They were instructed to fill in the first column of a chart with the names of these objects, similar to the one my group had before them. Then they filled out the chart going across the page with the first random thoughts that came to mind. The fellow that had purchased the honey wrote down "bear", "sweet", "beignets' (after all - he was originally from the south) among other words. The group then went to work, thinking about the ice line problem using the random words on their chart to inspire them and discussed the possibilities. After a while, one person suggested "they could put honey at the top of each pole and bears would be attracted to it, they would climb the poles to get the honey and the poles would shake from the bear's weight and knock the ice off the lines!" Further discussion led to them to the idea of flying helicopters over the lines so the vibration would shake the lines and release the ice - problem solved!
You can read a different take on the honey story at http://www.insulators.info/articles/ppl.htm
After sharing this story with my group, I suggested they work on their own organizational issues using the random words in their charts. Several of the groups started working on it right away and quickly moved from nonsense ideas to some thoughts that they might actually be able to implement. As I moved about the room I noticed a group that appeared stuck. I queried what issues they were contemplating and used a few of their random words to suggest some new ideas. One young lady replied "that's just not practical". I agreed with her but reminded her of the honey and the bear and suggested that some of their impractical ideas might just lead to something they could implement. She agreed that was possible and they attacked their issues with a new enthusiasm.
That's just not practical! Sometimes not - but that's why I like it.
Hazards Along the Way
For my birthday, which happened to land on the Easter holiday/holy day, my family joined me for a round of golf on a beautiful course near our home. It started off a little overcast, but the sun soon broke through the clouds and remained bright for the rest of the day. We were playing very well, enjoying each other's company, the beautiful scenery and the cold beer. Part of the course's beauty is the woods and creeks running through and around the land. There are also a fair number of sand traps scattered among the holes. If you are lucky (or should I say skilled?), you manage to avoid most of those hazards. But even the best golfers can find themselves at the bottom of a ravine or swinging at a ball with sand flying everywhere. It's not like we don't know these hazards are coming. The GPS on the golf cart provides numerous details on the course layout, though turtles, snakes and alligators are not on their radar. If you plan (and play well), you can avoid a majority of these stroke adding areas. Sometimes you can psyche yourself out thinking too much about a hazard - like the water - and end of splashing right into it because you thought so much about not going in. Bring extra balls, because that is bound to happen.
In life, as we go about our business, performing our work or attempting a number of activities and adventures we are bound to come up against some obstacles or hazards. Some of these are real and if we are careful in our planning we are prepared when they arise. Others are imaginary. We believe that people won't like something or we will have too many hoops to jump through so we don't even take the first step. We fail without even trying.
I encourage you to realistically analyze the possible hazards, prepare for those events that might actually happen and stop letting the imaginary road blocks keep you from taking the first step.
Here's to your dreams coming true - if you will only get out of your own way.
All In The Bag
When we start out as children our creativity is free and flowing. The older we get, the more rules and procedures we are required to follow and the less likely we are to veer from the beaten path. In order to remind adults to "color outside of the lines" and think outside the proverbial box, I utilize creativity exercises in my speaking engagements and training classes.
I have an exercise ready for an upcoming session, but decided to have a backup ready in case some of the participants had already been exposed to my game in a previous presentation. I prepared quart size plastic bags for each small group. I filled the bags with a half dozen items - the same ones in each bag. This time I included props like a bag of M&M's, a die, and a pipe cleaner. Each group will be given a bag and instructed to create a word using the first letter of each item they were given. Most people will play with the items in the bag but not think to use the "bag" as one of the items. What would you have done?
It is a great reminder to look at things differently - from all angles - so as not to miss an opportunity. Remember, it's not "all in the bag"!
Shoulding
"If you want this - you should do this". We are bombarded with books, magazines and sometimes friends and family telling us what we should do in order to achieve a certain state of being that they believe we should achieve. The problem arises when we believe them and follow their shoulds instead of listening to our hearts and our wants and desires.
An assessment that I use in my Creativity and Risk Taking coaching and training is the Creatrix. Creativity is the ability to produce new ideas and possibilities. Risk taking is driving the idea forward, even in the face of adversity. The assessment measures your creativity and risk taking orientations. We can improve our creativity and risk taking. The results of the Creatrix give you tips on how to accomplish that.
One of the drivers for creativity is inner-directedness. Inner directed people determine their own expectations and norms and march to their own drummer. They don't let others "should" on them.
So what can you do to be more inner-directed and experience less "shoulding"?
- Start asking - what would I really do in this situation?
- Pay more attention to your intuition and follow through.
- Stop changing your thoughts or behaviors when someone else makes a comment - stick with what is truly you.
Un-Like Minded People
I attend a variety of business organization meetings, attracted to them based on the topic. I've heard from oil and gas executives, human resource personnel, engineers, marketing gurus, coaches and dreamers. I find it thought provoking, inspiring and motivating to spice up my life with this variety of information and perspectives.
At one recent meeting the new people were invited to stand up and introduce themselves. Many times in their introductions I hear that term "like-minded" people used. They are delighted to be in the presence of like minded individuals. There is nothing wrong with that. I like to work or party with like minded people also.
But I propose that we could up our enjoyment of life, our creativity and our enthusiasm for things we have lost enthusiasm for if we associated with "un-like minded people". If you want to be more creative, try a few of these things off my list -
- Challenge yourself with three problems every day
- Brainstorm with friends
- Hang out with people you don't typically hang out with
- Work on your self-talk - remind yourself how creative you are
- Cross-train in the arts - try painting or piano lessons or something you've always wanted to try
- Nurture a secret work project
- Join an inventor’s or a writer's club
Let me know what new ideas or insights arise from this challenge.